With heart and mind
by Jae Eleanor
Summary: The planet has been saved, Sephiroth defeated. Those who were enemies for a long time, united to rebuild the world and protect its people from the remaining horrors of the past. But living and working with those you used to despise does not make life easy, even if it serves a greater cause.
1. Memories

_Most characters don't belong to me but to "SquareEnix",-whom I worship for having created them and the universe of Final Fantasy-. I don't owe anything in relation to the setting and characters of FF7. I just gratefully borrow them and let them live through good and less good times and may even rewrite their past and future. Jae is mine though :-) Enjoy^^_

_With heart and mind_

So there they stood. Like every year since it had finally all been over. Mankind was cured from geostigma, the mad general defeated - officially - the young president Shinra had quit walking in his fathers footsteps at all costs. No more mako infused SOLDIER's, no more robbing the planets lifestream. He seemed to have acknowledged there was no way dominating an entire planet even whilst being the most powerful and influential person on it.

It was the most peaceful time they had all known in their lives.

But to what cost?

Jae knelt closest to the monument. Just behind her stood Vincent, arms crossed in his usual manner, seemingly closed to everyone but in truth trying to keep his inner demons at bay while Chaos was resting in this mind. Next to her was Cloud. He had just lost his battle fighting back tears and cried silently. Tifa's left hand was gently resting on his shoulder, the right one keeping Marlene from running after Denzel, who again didn't want to attend the memorial of those who were to his believe responsible for the death of his parents. He was young, to young to see things in the larger picture.

Tifa's sad look crossed Nanaki's, who bowed his head apprehensively and followed the boy out of the great hall.

Reno and Cid still stood outside the huge iron gate smoking but otherwise silent, increasing the uneasy feeling the whole situation carried.

Tseng stood to the left side of the hall with a focused, serious look directed at the balcony. He could make out Rufus's shape and that of Elena right next to their superior. No one else was up there with them and he had made sure in their preparations no one else would be able to get any closer to them than this.

The president stood behind triple protection glass with his most loyal bodyguard by his side. Elena had served him for many years, though not as long as Tseng. However, he felt a lot more comfortable in her presence than in that of the capable but cold leader of the TURKS. She was trained to be professional and serious but had a warmer way handling his occasional emotional outbursts. She was kind and understanding when there was no one around witnessing his weakness. He thought of her as a friend, the only friend he might ever have. But tight was the feeling in his chest, thinking about such things, as he knew deep inside it was her love for the job and her honour who kept her by his side at all times, not friendship.

More people were entering now. The rhythmic noise of several pairs of heels on the marble floor was echoing through the building. Shalua - recently named head of the medical department - and her sister Shelke walked the long way to the front of the hall, closely followed by Reeve who was looking protective in his long dark robes.

A mighty sound emerged from above the ceiling. The bell rang once... announcing the unofficial start of the ceremony.

Reno an Cid tossed away their cigarette stubs and hurried inside. Rudo and Barret pulled on both wings of the iron gate. It closed with a loud thump.

Everyone stared at the huge dark grey marble cube. Hundreds of light grey words were engraved in it. On the top, in bold letters, words, beacons of bravery, courage, honour and pride. Followed by words of respect, tribute and comfort. The bottom of the cube was marked by a five meter tall thick steel base covered by thousands of names, neatly arranged.

They all knew where the names of their beloved, friends and colleagues -who did not live to see some peace returning to the planet they tried to safe - were engraved.

Jae did not have the heart to grieve over loved ones who's names were ornamenting the monument, her thoughts belonged to four who were not listed amongst the heroes of the war. Four who had become her closest friends, her family. Four with whom she had shared only seven years of her life but whose friendship, teachings and love had an impact on her and will accompany her for the rest of her life.

The first was a brother to her, always cheering her up, protecting her and comforting her as good as he could. He loved her truly and with all his heart. He was always honest and caring.

The second was a father to her, guiding her, giving her a last name she never had, a home and teaching her about dreams and honour.

The third was a friend, introducing her to a cultural live she had never known, someone to spent time with playing games and sharing the passions for good books and stories.

The forth was her closest friend, one who always had to be strong for everyone, a myth, a legend. She was the only one who really knew the person behind the mask. He was very vulnerable, often insecure and sad. He only showed his weakness in the intimacy of their private home. He was angry at the world for what it had made him become but hid it well... to some point.

Tears were now running down her cheeks. She felt her face turn hot and covered it in shame.

She was ashamed of crying,

ashamed of not having been able to save them,

ashamed of not having further insisted on their names being engraved on that silly monument,

ashamed of not being the one avenging their deaths,

ashamed for being alive while they were not!

Her shoulders were shaking as she fought the urge to scream. She bit her fist and whispered the four names that should have been enlisted in the first row:

Zack,

Angeal,

Genesis,

Sephiroth!

_Tbc..._

_This is just a small introduction to what is yet to come. It's a first for me so please be gentle ;-) _

_English is not my native language as you might have figured by now. I hope you've still enjoyed reading the beginning of my story though without to much headache due to descriptive linguistics acrobatics^^ _

_Please review :-)_


	2. Day off cancelled

"Hey babe ya home 'lready?"

A low kick with the half-cleaned boot shut the front door close. Reno was back from the annual ceremony. He stayed through the whole thing not really listening to any of the speeches that were held. Only the TURKS had to stay as young Shinra was present. All other members of the newly founded "HOPE"-Organisation left when the bell rang for a second time, signalling the new recruits, former SOLDIER and everyone else to enter the hall. Most of those attended mainly because they were ordered to, only few to actually grief the lost. Jae could not bare seeing their bored faces or hear them whisper lies about those she loved. She was the first to run home as the bell rang again.

"Yes I'm home Re." Her voice creaked. She had cried. She hated memorial day for so many reasons and yet she was glad to have this day off to mentally tribute those she missed every day. She secretly enjoyed having a right to be upset once a year without anyone questioning her tears.

Reno entered her bedroom and jumped on the bed. He kicked off his boots with already loose laces and crawled in Jae's direction. "Wanna hug"? She kept staring though the small window directed at the main street in front of their apartment block. "I know I want ta!" He pulled her away from the edge of the bet into a lying position and put his arms around her. Hiding her face in his neck she closed her eyes. Her head was aching and she was tired. Reno kept her close and gently stroke her arm until she fell asleep.

Their short nap was harshly interrupted by Reno's phone yelling rude lyrics. He cursed while picking it up. Jae's headache pounded behind her eyes.

"Ye bossman whaddaya want?"

She wondered the exact same thing as this was supposed to be their day off.

"Really? Da fuck, ya not kiddin'? That's some serious shit man... Damn!... We'll be there asap yo!...Yeah. Cya!"

"What happened?"

"They discovered one more of Hojo's horror cabinets it seems, a huge place this time! We gotta investigate yo! Some things still alive it appears: so SOLDERS and medics are in ta!"

"Oh no... I thought we were done with Hojo's cruelties..."

"Nahww, well one more disgusting surprise coming up hun... C'mon, gonna get goin'!"

Vincent was already waiting at the staircase outside their apartment. "You're informed?"

"You sure you want to come?", Jae asked her friend. "We never know what we'll find when Hojo's envolved."

"That is why I'm coming", the gun-slinger replied in a low, serious tone.

"I don't mind having ya round for extra safety yo, but this might get a little ta personal for ya Vin!"

A look from Vincent's dark red eyes was enough.

"Never mind yo, was just sayin'..."

Barely arrived in the headquarters, they were handed over earplugs, flight routes and building plans. Thermal scans indicated life forms deep below the surface of the old warehouse ruins. Vincent stomach cramped at the thought of what they might discover down there. It was common knowledge that professor Hojo had a twisted and sick mind but he was one of the very few "subjects" who lived after witnessing his true infinite cruelty. Chaos was full awake in his mind.

_Are you sure you want go? His death in that explosion was never proven... _

_You want to miss the opportunity to finish him off if he didn't?_

_You know what I would do to him... But I'm more worried about what else we might find down there_

_So am I Chaos. So am I..._

"Ok so all is settled then. Reno and Rudo you fly the operators, Reeves, Tifa and Cloud.

Jae you fly the medic chopper with Shalua, her team and Vincent.

Cid you get the transporter with the SOLDIER and the equipment.

Go and group up at base one indicated on the map."

On their way to the helicopter deck on top of the main building Reno couldn't resist teasing.

"Da fuck! So I get ta fly pukin' Chocobohead whilst Rufus is yellin' orders sitting safely in his office chair with Elena warming his lap?"

"Reno!", Tseng scolded him but knew it had little effect when the redhead was heating up right before a mission.

"I took my pills!"Cloud grumbled from somewhere behind.

"Yeah like that's gonna help ya..."

"If you would have flown less rough I would have been ok last time!"

"If I would have flown less rough... are you funking kiddin' me yo? If I woulda've flown less rough yeh all be fucking dead man! We had two fucking rockets on our tail yo, they woulda've ended up right in yar stupid arse if I would've-"

"Reno that's enough! Focus on the mission ahead now!"

"Yeah boss... whatever... just makin' sure I'm not da one cleaning the poor trim lady when he's doing a mess 'gain!"

"You were not the one doing the cleaning last time either", Rude interfered, his left brow lifted.

"What do ya want now?"

"Silence all of you now! That's an order!" Tseng knew Reno was hiding a lot of things behind his loose mouth but his constant spoiling for fights right before important missions was scratching on his usually calm temper.

_Tbc..._

_Reviews are still very welcome :-)_


	3. Mission ahead

They arrived at the indicated location exactly 37 minutes after take-off. Reno was the first to hit ground on a patch of dry mud close to the warehouse's back entrance. Jae was second and Cid landed the fat lady when he was sure the ground would not give in under the weight of his Quadricopter. Infantrymen had gathered around the building leaving no free spot of concrete to land on.

"Ignorant fools!" was the only greeting they got from the red-headed TURK.

Their superiors ran to Tseng to share latest intel and receive orders.

Jae waited in her chopper with Shelke and Vincent.

_She's scared. Do something!_

_What am I to do? Of course she's scared... we all ought to be given the situation!_

_I don't like her being scared. Comfort her!_

_What would you have me do Chaos? She's busy studying the plans, what we should be doing too now!_

_She's pretending to be studying the plans so you won't notice how afraid she is of what might be down there!_

_Chaos please... this isn't the right moment to get fuzzy about her feelings._

_I know you don't feel very well right now too. You might just talk to her._

_You won't let go?_

_Not a chance!_

_Grrhh_

"So Jae... any idea what will happen next?"

_That was smooth..._

_Shut up!_

"Erm... Well, whatever Tseng and the other operators decide I guess... Sending in SOLDIERS first to kill everything that moves or sent in some people with brains first to figure out who's friend and foe before hunting things down. We'll see..."

"SOLDIERS have brains too Jae..."

"Yeah, just to bad they quit using them after receiving orders!"

"Do you think Hojo's in there?", Shelke asked with her shy little girls voice.

Jae patted her hand and looked into her eyes: "We can't be sure but don't worry! As much as Vinny and Chaos despise him, they wont give him any chance to hurt anyone we love again!"

_No pressure..._

_She's got a point though Vincent_

_Yeah..._

Their headset crackled as Tseng started giving orders. He was usually the head operator these days as Rufus trusted his judgement best and thought of him as the most capable of his leaders.

Jae and her friends liked watching the sour faces the other operators made under the command of the head of the TURKS. It was hilariously ironic seeing former SOLDER generals jump to Tseng's orders. They were certainly not happy but none dared questioning his authority.

SOLDIERS were invading the warehouse. Jae received the recent thermoscans on her monitor. There were quite a few things alive down there...

After a few minutes the first wounded SOLDIERS were dragged out of the warehouse and handed to the infantrymen still surrounding the building. They were brought to Jae's chopper where Shalua and her team attended to them.

"What wounds?", she called out to the medics.

"So far mainly bitten and clawed", someone called back.

"Monsters!", Vincent growled with antipathy.

_We should go in._

_We should._

"Need help?", Jae offered.

"Nah thanks not yet"

"Just call us!"

"Will do!"

Vincent could feel the uneasiness growing in Jae as she bit her lip in distraction.

"We're out, Chaos wants to investigate"

"Be careful Vin!"

"Don't worry about me", he forced a smile on his lips, gently patted her head and jumped out of the chopper.

"Shelke, bring us a medium healing materia!"

The dry ground was turning into a red brown muddy mess in some places of the healing tent.

Shalua waved her younger sister closer:"Hurry, this one's not gonna make it without!"

Jae hated waiting alone in the chopper. She tuned in Reno's heli channel. "Hey Reno!"

"Yo babe, what aya up ta?"

"Waiting for orders... my favorite!"

"Yeah Rudo 'n I been babysitting the chopper ta so far."

"Hey Rudo!"

"Hey!"

"So none ta comfort yet for ya miss psycho?"

"No, they're all busy yelling for healing materia and other medics so far. No one's in the mood for telling me what bit them so far."

"Biting wounds huh?"

"Yeah Hojo's terrific creatures again I guess..."

"Boss been expecting no less it seems, seeing what units he brought along yo."

"Seems so."

"..."

"All clear - up to level -7! I repeat: all clear - up to level -7! Need more fire-power to breach the doors leading down to -8. Reno, Rude bring in the explosives!"

"With pleasure boss!"

_Great two more to worry about, _Jae's headache seemed to feed on her fear and was getting really annoying. She ran her hands trough her hair and looked up hoping for orders. Minutes passed and felt like hours.

"Doors to lvl-8 breached regroup and- OMG, back up! Back up!"

Jae jumped up in terror, peeked through the front chopper window to the back door of the building. Nothing was moving there! She needed to get closer! Fuck orders, none's gonna steal the damn chopper or the freaking materia piled up in it now! And if... who cares! Reno was down there and she didn't know what was going on! She ran to the building crossing infantryman carrying heavily wounded SOLDIERS. She ran down the stairs. The air was thick with the malodorous smell of iron, gunpowder, smoke, blood and other things she tried not to identify. On minus 6 it was pitch black. Minus 5 had been dark but the half-used up flares on the ground had spent enough light to see the passage way. She fumbled for her pocked light when a hand grabbed her. She screamed in panic and pointed her gun right in the face of her attacker. "Easy yo, ya don't wanna put a bullet through my pretty head do ya?"

"Reno you imbecile I could've shot you!"

"Good for me that ya use ya brain b'fore pulling the trigger then ey?"

"I heard Tseng through the plugs, what's going on?"

"Yeah what part of -back up!- didn't ya get hun?"

Jae's eyes adjusted to the dark. She could make out Rudo behind Reno.

"I was worried!"

"So were we!"

"Then why are you on level-6 when Tseng on -8?"

"Cause we were on -3 when he yelled, ran down again ta -7 were screamed at by bossman we should go back ta da chopper and figured we'd just wait here for ya!"

"The hell?"

"Yup", Rudo agreed.

"So now what?"

"I guess the usual; disobeying orders and gettin' bossman outa trouble yo!"

"Sounds like a plan! Let's go!"

They squeezed their way down to level -7 where a whole SOLDIERS squad was waiting for orders. Jae had to cough as the dust and smoke from the explosion still lingering in the air evaded her nose. Vincent or rather Chaos for that matter heard her and smoothly moved trough the crowd with masks for the three of them.

"Already wondered how long you would stay out of trouble" he gave her a quick hug and moved back to the frond row.

_Now that was new ground._

_Shut up!_

_You were worried and felt touchy._

_I never feel touchy!_

_You hugged her. Well done Mr Stoic, you're making progress._

_Stop it, we got work to do._

_Someone better soon find something to fill that gap to the other side or I'll get my wings out and fly over to see what atrocities are hidden there._

_You stay where you are and so do your wings Chaos! We'll wait and see what Tseng decides._

The mass of people moved to let men with long ladders make their way towards the leader.

"Good how many do we have? Fine make a way of 3!"

"Make rows, grab hold of each other 3 by 3!"

"The first go!"

"3,6,9,12, !"

"What do you see on the other side? Is there a way to open the door?"

"We haven't figured out how yet!"

"He should sent over someone with less muscle and more- u know!", Jae hissed.

Reno grinned and Rudo noded approvingly.

They saw Vincent running over the ladder towards the small group.

"Bet that was Chaos controlling yo, seen how deep it's going down there? Vinny wouldn't have made it without a panic attack haha."

"How can you still make stupid jokes? Can't you ever be serious?"

Tifa whispered angrily from the side. She and Cloud had just joined the others.

"Hey you two", Jae greeted them quietly, glad to see them unharmed.

"Hey Jae", the woman greeted back. Cloud nearly never talked to her. Jae believed he was feeling responsible for Zack's death and felt guilty towards her cause her "brother" had died saving his life. Or he was still mad from when she told everyone that the one he's been hunting down a few years ago was still the Sepiroth they once knew, misguided by the calamity Jenova and not the monster they liked calling him.

_Tbc..._

_Hope you enjoy the read :-)_


	4. Unpleasant events

On the other side of the gap was the same kind of security door that separated level -7 from -8.

Again Reno and Rudo had to place explosives around it. Once the door was lifted out of it's large frame, horror spread among those who first entered the new area. Many stopped at the doorstep, peaked inside and ran back to be sick.

Only few stood their ground on the other side of the door.

The men made way for Tseng to pass.

Jae, Reno, Rudo, Tifa and Cloud still stood on the other side of the gap wondering what was going on. They saw Vincent's red cape among the small group entering now. Only seconds after, a deep and terrible growl was echoing through the old walls.

"Damn..." was all Reno managed to say.

"I'm not sure I want to know what's in there if it makes Chaos take over nearly immediately." Tifa was now clutching on her boyfriends arm.

"Or who for that matter, he sounds very pissed!", Jae feared the worst.

"Indeed", they all looked over to Rudo wondering how he always managed to sound so incredibly indifferent in situations like these.

"I'm going in!",Cloud gave Tifa a quick kiss on the front and pushed his way to the ladders.

"Like I'm going to let you go alone!" Tifa yelled after him and hurried to follow.

Reno pulled Jae close and used her as support as he stood on his toes to check what was going on.

"Hey yo guys I can't see bossman 'nymore!"

"He went in not long ago" Rudo replied dryly.

"Well fuck you for not telling me man! I'm going to see what's up there now!"

"Tseng told us to stay put Reno."

"Well you can fucking stay, I'm frigging going!"

"I'm coming too Re." Jae just got a hold of him before he left.

Rude looked several times to the other side and back with a distinctly undecided expression.

When Jae and Reno had reached the gap he ran after them.

Jae looked down and wondered just how deep this building must be. She quickly followed Reno to the other side. The smell of fresh vomit and decreased biological tissue made her eyes water. Reno was gagging and held a hand before his mouth. Nothing stopped him from cursing though: "Holy shit this is nasty yo!" Jae was focused on inhaling through her mouth rather than her nose. She was used to a lot given the circumstances in which she grew up and the fact she's been helping out as medic throughout her time in Shinra, but this was bad even for her records. Once they were able to bare with the smell they moved closer to the passage, avoiding the puddles on the floor.

When they were about to peak inside they saw Tseng running towards them motioning them to let him pass. Once outside he pressed both palms to the wall, upper body bending forward and was violently ill. Jae approached him quietly and discretely put a hand on his back. She was careful not to fuss over him the way she would do instinctively. She would not have him look weak in front of his many subordinates.

She waited until he finished heaving then gently whispered:" Is there anything I can do?" He shook his head. "What happens in there?" He grimaced and spat out before he nearly voicelessly replied: "Don't go in there Jae, just... don't!"

Reno and Rude tried their best to block their boss from pathetic looks.

Jae handed their leader a handkerchief and some mints she had in her pocket. The last she usually stole from the receptionist desk in the hallway leading to Rufus's office. She kept forgetting to ask the secretary what brand they were, for she would rather buy them than appear like a beggar, filling her pockets with free sweets.

Tseng seemed grateful, he liked things neat and clean and hated anything messy or distasteful. His head was turning. He had not been this sick in years. Most people had heard stories about his sometimes weak stomach and Reno usually never missed an opportunity to tease him about it, but this was worse than anything he had to deal with before. He was still feeling very queasy but picked up his headset he had thankfully tossed aside before retching. All he wanted now was getting the opportunity to brush his teeth, shower and have this place blown down by all fire-power there was on Cid's Highwind. Instead he chewed on Jae's mints and hoped they'll soon dominated the foul taste of bile in this mouth.

"Everyone get back to the choppers. I repeat: everyone back to the choppers. Get the dead and wounded out too, leave none behind. We're evacuating. The rest of this mission is TURKS business only now. Thank you for your cooperation!"

_Tbc..._

_Please review so I can see if this is going in the right direction ;-) Thank you^^_


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